Mr Spock

I pity the poor child who got given this Spock costume. Let's just gloss over the fact that it says 'Super Hero' on the packet, it's definitely meant to be Mr Spock. So you get a promisingly large box which contains a costume and mask.

OK, I can see the mask is not perfect, but it's got pointy eyebrows and ears, that's the main thing. Even if you're not a Star Trek fan, you'll know what Mr Spock looks like, and it looks passable. However, even if you've never seen an episode of Star Trek in your life, you will know that his Star Fleet uniform does not look like this - 

No, Mr Spock does not go around wearing a picture of himself on a bright yellow plastic tabard affair. Nor does he wear cheap blue nylon trousers.

It just doesn't make any sense. If they can draw a picture of Mr Spock wearing a plain blue top and print it on the costume, why didn't they just make the costume like the picture? Of course, if they had, we would have missed out on this rather fine piece of artwork, which shows that angry Mr Spock has either eaten his Ready Brek or is being electrocuted.

Jolly Swagman

I rather like costume dolls. My especial favourites are the 'Dolls of the World' kind. Rather than being souvenirs from a particular country, a manufacturer just makes a range of dolls to represent different countries. The dolls themselves are all identical (though some might have a different skin colour), and just their outfits are different. I'm not sure if that is how this Australian Swagman doll was produced, but certainly this doll was never intended to be a man.

Nope, not even a thick false beard will do it. (Makes me think of the stoning in Life of Brian - "Are there any women here?")

Pom Pom Mascots

It's a well-known fact that when you stick googly eyes on a pompom, it becomes a mascot.

OK, let's just do a pompom mascot roll call. Blue poodle. Orange cat. Brown spotty cat. Yellow bear. Orange lion. Red mouse? Green...bear?

If you add arms made from a peg, it becomes a clip-on pompom mascot.

So let's just see who we have here. A monkey and a lion on the top. Then... a lemur? And... a wolf. Close enough, that'll do.

Baby Face

More from my postcard collection today. A very good friend of mine has been about to give birth for the last week, so I'm hoping these lovely pictures of babies will encourage her to get on with it!  

The one above is truly bizarre. The headscarf, the elephant, the off-centre composition, the thing just out of shot - all very unsettling.

All these postcards were found in Crete. We were on holiday about ten years ago, and discovered a souvenir shop with an entire stand of these kitsch old postcards of children, families, couples. I bought about a hundred of them. I wish I'd got more, but at the time it seemed crazy enough to be buying that many!

I think it is (or was) a European phenomenon to publish postcards of quite ordinary domestic scenes. I can't imagine who would want to send or receive these cards. Or why that baby above was considered photogenic enough to merit two different postcards in different outfits.

Mind you, I find the next one positively menacing. Is it just me, or does she look like a wrestler about to come out fighting from her corner?

This last one is Italian - 'Buon Compleanno' means 'Happy Birthday', but that child looks about to burst into tears. Probably because some photographer has smeared his face with cake.

Cross Spaniard

 I'm always surprised at how many people find old dolls 'creepy'. I generally find them funny, or sometimes just plain ugly. These dolls made me laugh for just being so very cross! And startled, too!

I suppose they are a bit scary... So you have to wonder at the process of manufacture. Did no-one ever think that maybe this wasn't the most attractive and friendly pair of dolls to send out into the world?

It Must Be Love

Another postcard from my collection. It's a classic isn't it?

I think that odd shape is the outline of a flower, but even if it is, that doesn't really explain it. It's an odd montage, isn't it? Larking about in a field on a cloudy day. I'm not sure their pose really says 'togetherness'. She could just be trying to get away from him and his scary beige crimplene flares. But even if you want to believe they're having fun, I don't think that any real-life couple have ever really held hands and swung each other about in that fashion. Not in earnest.

On the plus side, I LOVE her outfit. Those boots!

Let Them Eat Sweets

This is a vintage sweet tin. I love its kitschiosity (yes that is a real word, thank you).  And I am in awe of the weird inspiration of dressing up children like Marie Antoinette and Louis XVI and making them pretend to play chess. And then deciding this is the perfect image to sell sweets. Perhaps they were just bored with kittens, roses, thatched cottages and the like.

Or maybe I've missed the point entirely and these were famous child film stars in their most popular roles? ... Nah, I prefer to think it's more random than that.